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3-Step Process for How to Let go of your regrets...

Ten years later, the regret still niggles at the back of your mind...

"If only I had..."

I shared the 4 Universal Regrets, which show 4 Core Universal Values...

4 Universal Regrets, 4 Universal Values

  1. Foundation regrets tell us we value: Stability and safety

  2. Boldness regrets tell us we value: Learning, growth, risk,

  3. Moral regrets tell us we value: Goodness

  4. Connection regrets tell us we value: Love

Today, I want to share with you the three-step process developed by Daniel Pink in his book The Power of Regret for how to let go of your lingering regrets.

3-Step Regret Releasing Process

Step 1: Inward - Self-compassion,

Step 2: Outward - Undo it and express it,

Step 3: Forward - Analyze and strategize - What lessons can be learned from it?

Step 1: Inward

How do you reframe the regret within yourself?

How do you talk to yourself about your regrets?

Do you beat yourself up about not making a better choice?

The first step in processing your regrets is to have compassion for yourself.

There is some incredible research done by Kristen Neff on self-compassion and how it works far better than lacerating self-criticism.

Here is a framework (developed by Dr. Neff) for self-compassion.

Self-compassion Framework
  1. Notice - notice when you are being critical of yourself

  2. Normalize - shared humanity "We all make mistakes sometimes..."

  3. Nurture - what would a good friend say to you? Say that to yourself

Step 2: Outward

Undo it

A lot of times, we can undo the regret by acting differently now.

For example, if a relationship has been slowly drifting apart, let's say with your parents, put a time in your calendar to reach out.

Could you take that first step?

Express it

Even the act of just sharing our regrets with people that we trust can have a tremendous impact on releasing the regret.

We tend to think that if we talk about our mistakes, people will think less of us but, in reality, a lot of times, they actually have more respect for us, and vulnerability promotes a deeper connection.

Step 3: Forward - Analyze and Strategize

Lesson Learned

What lesson did I learn from this regret, and what should I do differently in the future?

That's it! It may be simple, but the research shows that this three-step process from Daniel Pink's book, Power of Regret, effectively handles regrets.

Step 1: Reframe it through self-compassion

Step 2: Express it and Undo it (if possible)

Step 3: What did you learn from it, and what will you do differently?

How have you processed through regrets that you've had in the past?

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